Helping a friend in addiction recovery
Supporting a friend during addiction recovery is one of the most important gifts you can give. And the only problem is that…
Most people don't know what to say. Or they say the wrong thing entirely.
Feeling helpless can be paralyzing. The desire to help can be outweighed by fear that any misstep might hurt a friend. That silence can feel like a rejection to someone struggling for sobriety.
The good news is that learning how to talk to a friend in recovery isn't difficult. It just takes a little effort to understand what they are going through and the right approach to communication.
Why Communication Is So Important In Recovery
The Dos And Don'ts Of Supportive Communication
Setting Healthy Boundaries With A Friend In Recovery
The Best Ways To Help During Challenging Times
Fact…
Social support is one of the most significant contributors to successful addiction recovery. According to research, people with positive family relationships have dramatically lower relapse rates than those who lack a support network.
This means that what friends and family members say to each other matters.
Of course, this isn't just about being polite or nice. Understanding addiction and what treatment programs really entail is important to supportive communication. Addiction treatment centers such as Novara Recovery Center help people develop new ways to cope with stress. But this process continues long after someone graduates from a program.
Friends and family play an important role in preventing relapse.
That's a big statement, but it's supported by data.
The Recovery Research Institute found that approximately 29.3 million adults in the United States have successfully addressed a significant substance use problem at some point in their lives. Many of these individuals will point to support systems as critical to their success.
The point is that recovery doesn't occur in isolation.
Professional programs provide guidance, education, and tools for early recovery. Daily communication with friends and family members reinforce these changes. Every positive interaction provides momentum for change. Every empathetic exchange strengthens resolve.
Supportive communication with a friend or family member in recovery does require some shifts in thinking. Saying and doing things that feel right may not always be helpful in reality.
Listen more than you speak. Recovery is full of big emotions, and sometimes a person just needs to know that someone is listening to them without judgment or the need to provide advice.
Ask open-ended questions. Rather than asking "Are you okay?" try "How are you feeling today?" These kinds of questions allow for more honest responses.
Celebrate the small victories. Recovery is a process that occurs on a daily basis. Acknowledging successes in a genuine way is powerful.
Be patient with a friend or family member who is going through recovery. This process is rarely linear, and there will be good days and bad days. What matters is showing up over time and not giving up.
Educate yourself on addiction as a medical condition. This knowledge can help take the stigma out of conversations about substance use.
Don't bring up the past. Telling someone about all the mistakes they have made will not help them to move forward in recovery.
Don't offer advice that hasn't been requested. While unsolicited recommendations on how someone should be handling their recovery may come from a good place, they often won't be welcome.
Don't take things personally. Recovery can cause a person's emotions to fluctuate, and they may be more short-tempered or less friendly than usual. Don't take it personally.
Don't enable a person to return to their old ways of thinking and acting. Being supportive is different from minimizing negative behaviors or pretending everything is okay when things are not.
Offering support to a friend in recovery is important. It is critical not to do it at the cost of your well-being.
Boundaries are healthy for everyone. Friendships and family relationships that don't include clear limitations end up being unhealthy for one or both people. In fact, many relationships deteriorate during the recovery process because one individual gives too much while the other takes too much.
This doesn't have to be the case.
Boundaries allow for support without resentment.
Here's how to make it work…
Be transparent about expectations. Let your friend or family member know how you are able to be supportive and what might be out of scope for you.
Explain limits calmly. Remember that setting boundaries is not the same as punishing or withholding. These are healthy guidelines intended to protect all parties. Be transparent about them in a way that doesn't include anger or guilt.
Enforce boundaries over time. No boundary is effective if it is not adhered to consistently. Calmly and firmly restate guidelines if someone you are supporting attempts to push beyond your limits.
Take care of your mental health. Supporting another person through recovery is challenging and can be emotionally draining. Taking breaks is not selfish; it is necessary to avoid burnout.
Addiction recovery is difficult. Knowing how to navigate challenging times is essential.
Remain calm. Anxiety and frustration will only escalate the situation. Remaining grounded and present is more helpful.
Offer practical support. This can look like driving a friend to a meeting or simply sitting with them in silence.
Remind a friend of their progress. When a person is having a particularly difficult time, it can be easy for them to forget how far they have come in recovery.
Relapse is more common than many people realize. Statistics show that 40-60% of people in recovery from drug or alcohol addiction experience a relapse at some point during their recovery. That is a higher rate than that for many other chronic conditions like asthma and hypertension.
Relapse doesn't mean that recovery has failed; it means that treatment needs to be adjusted.
Avoid blame. The best thing a friend can do when a loved one relapses is not to blame or shame. Encourage a return to professional treatment and offer nonjudgmental support.
There are times when a situation is out of the scope of a friendship or family member. The best thing a friend can do is to connect someone to qualified professionals who can help.
Warning signs that a person should be involved in the professional treatment of another person include the following:
Talk of self-harm or suicide
Severe withdrawal symptoms
Complete disengagement from recovery
Dangerous patterns of behavior
Addiction recovery is a lifelong process. The need for support doesn't end because someone has completed a treatment program.
Long-term support looks like…
Checking in with a friend in recovery over time. Recovery does not make friendships conditional. Maintaining contact is important.
Inviting a person in recovery to participate in sober activities. Recovery can cause a person to isolate themselves socially, and this is a trigger for relapse in many people. Inviting people to sober events and activities helps them stay connected.
Continuing to be a person who learns about recovery. Recovery is a process that evolves over time. Someone's needs may change from the first year to the tenth. Staying informed helps support continue to be relevant.
Being honest. Healthy relationships with friends and family are built on honesty. It is better to address an issue directly in a kind and caring way rather than not bring it up at all.
Supporting a friend through the process of recovery from addiction is about remaining present with patience and understanding.
Effective communication can do the following:
Enhance the recovery process
Reduce isolation
Build trust over time
Help with relapse prevention
It doesn't require perfect words. It requires a desire to be present.
Listening, setting healthy boundaries, and knowing when to encourage professional treatment are all ways that anyone can be a part of someone's recovery.
Support can make all the difference.
Supriyo Khan
Supriyo Khan
Supriyo Khan
Supriyo Khan
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