Let's be honest: chatting on dating apps can feel weird. One minute you're writing the perfect witty opener, the next you're wondering if that joke about pineapple pizza was too much. We've all been there. The truth is, finding that sweet spot between being funny and being respectful isn't rocket science, but it does take some thought!
It’s okay if you've got a killer sense of humor and want to show it off. But not everyone's going to vibe with your particular brand of comedy right away. These days, dating apps cater to all kinds of relationships. Whether you're using the best threesome app or just browsing Flirtini to test your luck, you've got to adjust your approach.
Say you're already partnered and want to try a threesome. Now you’re looking to meet someone who might click with both you and your existing partner. How do you bring that up without being creepy or disrespectful? Just read their profile! Then read between the lines. Someone who quotes The Office in their bio will probably appreciate your Michael Scott impression. Someone who writes thoughtfully about their volunteer work will appreciate it if you ease up on the sarcasm at first. Simple as that.
"Hey" is not a conversation starter. Neither is "ur hot." Come on, you're more creative than that!
For example, you date older women on Flirtini who has a photo with their cat. Instead of the usual "cute cat" comment, write: "Your cat looks like it's judging my life choices through the screen. Fair, honestly." That’s an instant conversation!
Long story short, be specific and observant. And for the love of all that is holy, keep it light at first! Nobody wants to hear your deepest trauma or your spiciest pickup line in message number one…
Sometimes you need to discuss things that could be dealbreakers. Maybe you're in an open relationship. Maybe you have kids. Maybe you're really, really into Renaissance fairs. Whatever it is, there's a way to bring it up without making things awkward.
Let's say you're polyamorous and you match with someone amazing. You want to see if they'd be interested in meeting both you and your partner. Here's what not to do: hide it until you meet in person. Also bad: making it your opening line like it's some kind of sales pitch.
Instead, try something like this: "By the way, I'm poly and looking specifically for a threesome. It's in my profile but I know not everyone reads those novels we write about ourselves 😄 Totally understand if that's not your thing, but if you're curious or have questions, I'm an open book. Otherwise, tell me more about that time you accidentally joined a mariachi band in Mexico?"
Honest, respectful, but not heavy. You're giving them an out, showing you respect their boundaries, and keeping the conversation flowing.
Picture this: someone meets a potential partner on a dating app and makes a joke about their job, thinking it's absolutely hilarious. But the other person doesn’t laugh. They don't even respond for two days. And when they finally do, they explain why it hit a nerve. The joke-teller feels like an idiot, but owns it completely. "Yikes, I completely missed the mark there. That's on me, sorry about that. Can we pretend I opened with something charming instead?" The other person appreciates the honesty. They end up dating for three months.
What’s the lesson? When humor falls flat, don't panic. It’s okay to make mistakes! Don't send seventeen follow-up messages explaining the joke. And definitely don't get defensive. Just acknowledge it and move on. People respect that approach far more than most realize.
The best dating app conversations aren't comedy shows. They're tennis matches. Back and forth, building on each other's energy.
Share a ridiculous story from your day. Ask weird hypothetical questions. ("Would you rather fight one horse-sized duck or a hundred duck-sized horses?" remains undefeated.) But also listen and react. Be genuinely interested in their answers.
We’ve noticed on Flirtini and other apps that conversations die when one person tries too hard to be "on" all the time. It's exhausting. Mix in some real questions. Show actual curiosity about their life.
Supriyo Khan
Supriyo Khan
Supriyo Khan
Supriyo Khan
Want to add a comment?
