Key takeaways 

• Smartphones and dating apps have fundamentally altered the way we find love

• They can help or kill the magic and depth that used to be there

Love-seeking has become grocery shopping 

Love used to be about chemistry, chance, and vulnerability. Now it's a matter of swiping on curated profiles like you're grocery shopping. Dating apps in particular emerge as serious offenders. Attention spans have been declining consistently, from 12 seconds in 2000 to 8 seconds in 2025. Dating apps capitalize on this tendency, rewarding short attention spans.

Algorithms create echo chambers. You rarely meet people you click with, and improving your dating life seems like a mirage. 

Put the phones away when you go on dates

Your smartphone is the third wheel on dates. A startling 57.4% of people use their phones while on dates, checking work messages, scrolling TikTok, or whatever. Texting and DMs are replacing actual, vulnerable conversations. However, don't think it's acceptable - 62.8% of respondents in a recent survey won't go on a second date with someone who seemed distracted during the first one. Men are more tolerant of this than women, who are 24.1% less likely to give a distracted date a second chance. 

Just over half (52.4%) of respondents admitted they were bothered when someone glanced at their phone during a date. 9% more women than men expressed frustration over this behavior. The tolerance increases as relationships progress. 61% of couples who have been in a relationship for less than a year are irritated by it compared to 45.7% of those in a relationship of a year or more. 

Infinite options, but no connection

It's the ever-prevailing paradox of choice: The more options we have, the less satisfied we are. Fear of missing out leads to ghosting, breadcrumbing, and commitment phobia. People think, "Why settle for good when better might be one swipe away?" 

It also doesn't help that dating apps are designed like casinos: addictive and designed to keep you swiping. You're more playing a game than dating to find love – a game many are losing. This phenomenon is grounded in the stimulus-organism-response framework, which also accounts for an association between compulsive shopping and smartphone addiction. A study in a sample of 275 Gen Z users revealed a model integrating flow experiences and mood regulatory behaviors linked to smartphone addiction to affect compulsive buying behavior. Flow experience and mood regulatory behavior enhanced the relationship.

The death of closure

Ghosting is now an accepted norm — no accountability, no closure. Emotional immaturity becomes easy when you can vanish with no consequences. We're treating people like apps too — "delete" when no longer using. Ghosting is so prevalent in online dating that 66% of people consider the former a byproduct of the latter. People are ghosted the most often before the first date, but it can happen after subsequent dates, too. Around 25% were ghosted after the first date or after several dates, and about 10% were ghosted after dating someone for several months.

Romance doesn't have to be a UX problem

There is a reason many Gen Z members are moving off general dating apps. They are trying to meet people IRL again — at classes, events, or through hobbies and interests. When you're on a date, put your phone away and make direct eye contact.

The braver of you can try dating detox, not using any apps for a month. One meaningful conversation is better than a dozen matches that don't move beyond small talk.

If you must use apps, use them differently. Look for and demonstrate genuine interest in your matches. Call someone instead of texting, or even write an old-fashioned note. 

Finally, don't be on Tinder when therapy is where you might need to be. Sometimes the issue isn't the apps, but your approach to dating. Tech magnifies what's already there. 

Recap 

• Put your phone away when you go on dates

• Some dating apps offer infinite options, but no real connection

• They brought the death of closure: ghosting.